We all do this--an ongoing inventory of need. The toxic mix that says whatever we currently have just isn't enough. We need more.
More money. More time. More love. More travel. It's a story of lack that's often acceptably dressed as "drive" or "ambition," but I have a hunch that the root thought is fear.
We are all in a continuous state of choice, not victimhood. It is easy to forget we do have choices in nearly everything we do, or don't do.
Some typical thoughts:
"I need more money." Really? How responsible are you with what you already have? Can you do better in budgeting? Where can you improve? Can you take a side job to increase your income?
"I don't have enough time." You have as much time in a day as everyone else is gifted. How wisely are you using the time you have? Where can you schedule more efficiently? What are you wasting time doing?
"Everyone goes to nice places on vacation. I never go anywhere." How have the decisions you've made throughout the year either set you up to do what you want to do (i.e. go on a nice vacation), or removed that option from your list? Again. You've made some choices. Own them. If unforeseen circumstances meant you were forced to change plans, you can be disappointed, but you weren't victimized.
The "more" list is an endless road that leads directly to the highway of similar thoughts. It's an on-ramp in your thinking for more of the same. More stories of lack and need.
I want you to inspect your "more" list closely and honestly. What do you really need more of? How have you worked with what you do have? Where can you improve? This is not about shame or guilt; this is about honest assessment and clear thinking and taking responsibility. It's about calling BS on the BS story you've been telling.
It's about conscious choosing.
News! If you happen to live in the State College area, I hope you'll consider stopping by the D Stress Station (www.thedestressstation.com) in Boalsburg on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 7 p.m. So many people ask me how life coaching works, so this group session is designed for anyone interested in a live sample. Cost is $25 per person, payable at the door. We'll provide light refreshments; you bring your curiosity!
And...It's not too late to reserve your spot at my upcoming May 10-12 workshop! I've added more info at my site--as well as some frequently asked questions--to help fill in the blanks. Visit www.erikaisler.com and click the "more" tab at the top. This workshop might be a perfect gift for that "mom" in your life--an experience she will never forget.
Martha Beck-certified life coach, Equus coach, Penn State journalism instructor and professional writer.