Erika Isler - Life Coaching
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Musings

Work, purpose and prepping the escape pod

7/20/2018

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Picture

"I know not what the future holds, but I know who holds the
future. "~Unknown


I’ve been thinking lately about the huge differences between work and purpose.
Work is what we do to pay our way through this world—to pay our bills, to buy food, to have shelter, and so on. Unless you're independently wealthy, it’s usually necessary for all of us to work in some capacity.
Purpose is quite a different thing, however.
If work is what we do, then purpose is an activation of a deep knowing of who we are, what we value and how we can contribute to the greater good.
I believe we all share the common purpose of helping and serving others. Without that, no matter how luxurious a life we create for ourselves, we often feel like something’s missing.
Curiously, our purpose can often feel foggy and vague—like something we can’t quite wrap our hands around but deeply sense. But I’ve found that when we pay attention, there are always clues that lead us closer to embracing and engaging our purpose more fully.
 Think about something you love to do. Maybe it’s photography or poetry. Maybe it’s rock climbing or kayaking or hiking. Perhaps it’s painting. Or sailing. (I have a hunch is something nature-related, 'cause it usually is) Whatever your thing is, the love you have for it—the way you lose yourself doing it—is a clue to your greater purpose. Because when you’re doing “that thing” you’re suddenly quite
unmoored from regular daily activities. You’re free and connected at the same time. Your mind—typically so busy with repetitive thoughts or over-stimulated by technology or both—is suddenly wide open and receptive and aware.
 I think of these activities as a kind of escape pod—but one we’re called to get in to at every opportunity, not just in case of emergency.
 My escape pod happens to be horse-time. I’ve always felt one of the most therapeutic aspects of being around horses is that when we’re near them, we really can’t let our thinking go sideways. They are naturally fully present in the moment at all times and model that mindfulness for us. We sync up with them naturally, probably because we have so closely co-evolved alongside them over thousands of years.
 I want to encourage you to pay attention to the nuances and messages of your own escape pod.
What? You don’t have one? Then it’s time to find one. Your purpose needs you.
 That little pod, however it appears to and for you, is the clearest path to dusting off your deepest purposes and calibrating your highest connections. Notice what comes up when you’re in that space and what you feel called to do. It’s a divine dial-in time that only requires you show up and listen. Like a cosmic download, it will aid you in understanding and crafting your own way of serving.
The only prerequisite? A desire to make the world just a little better than you found it.

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How to Change

1/2/2013

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Happy New Year friends!

With all the talk about resolutions and change, I wanted to take a few minutes to touch base with you. Our cerebral selves complicate change immensely, but I think in the final analysis, the process contains just three components:

A thought: Without this, there is nothing. Things are simply what they are with no quality or judgment. Getting underneath and really examining what you're thinking is powerful. Sometimes it's painful too. But it's okay. A thought by itself is nothing-it has no mass or power. The only charge a thought has is the meaning we ascribe to it.

"Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in." ~Alan Alda

From a thought, we take action. For example, a thought like, "I can't take this job anymore," either drives a person to make a change-as in, find a new job-or simply becomes a woeful mantra played over and over again.

No action=no change. Same, same.

"Action is eloquence."  ~William Shakespeare

In taking the first step toward change, we create momentum. And at this juncture, the first step can be quite small. In the example above, the first step might be committing to more professional networking or a casual chat with the boss about other opportunities within the company. Think small here. Then do something. (See quote above.)

So once you've completed that first small step, take a minute to check in with yourself. How'd it go?

Results: Now it's time to evaluate the quality of that momentum. How does the movement feel? Exciting? Daunting? Risky? Just observe your feelings as feedback. Does the result of your action feel warmer (closer) or colder (farther away) from what you desire? Do you feel energized from the step you've taken? Depleted? Scared? Remember, it's all feedback. And it's usually frightening to take steps you've never taken before. You can be afraid and still move forward. See what's on the other side of that discomfort. Most things aren't as momentous as we have concocted in our minds.

"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

If we can consider change more of a playful exercise, how would we experience it differently? Would we be kinder to ourselves? To others?

Give it a go and let me know your results. And here's to more kindness, to and for everyone, in 2013.

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Kindness and curiosity 

12/5/2012

1 Comment

 


I hope this note finds you well this holiday season. I've had a busy, transitional past few months and I wanted to take a few minutes to catch up with you.

If you're not one to get all misty eyed about pets, then go ahead and close this page and go about your day. I won't be offended; promise. But I do think our four-legged companions offer us much the in the way of lessons. I wanted to share just two here because I believe they're on point with the season and the time of year.

Bozeman was a part of our family for more than 12 years. He was a magnificent dog, full of his own quirks and comedies. More than anything else, however, he was kind to everyone. Kindness counts.

We said goodbye to him in early September, just as the leaves were beginning to change and the world began inching toward its fall slumber. I was ready, but I wasn't ready. This goodbye was forever.

And the world got quieter still.

I quickly realized it was a bit too quiet for my comfort; the silence felt heavy and oppressive. So despite warnings from a few people about getting another dog so soon, I felt drawn to look around. It wasn't very long before I located a 14-week old puppy whose eyes conveyed a kind of knowing I can't articulate here. He knew and I knew. There were more lessons to be learned and paths to be shared. Together.

And the silence gave way to a faint tempo.

Hobson waddled into our lives with healing kisses and a spunky but somehow old nature. With him, he brought a combination of playfulness (which for a six-month-old puppy often shows up as stealing shoes and bringing pine cones into the house) and innocence.

But there's something wise and curious in his eyes. Curiosity matters.

I'd like to invite you to examine where kindness might be missing in your life. Whether to yourself or to those around you. Where can you offer more of it? And what would that feel like to add more of it into your world?

I'd encourage you to tap into your curiosity too as a New Year approaches. What have you put off? Where would you like to visit that you've long-listed because of other obligations? What would you like to do?

Listen for the tempo growing in your life. It's out there, behind the silence.

Here's wishing you and your family and friends a warm and happy holiday season.  

"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe.  We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made."  ~Roger Caras

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What You Want and Why 

7/11/2012

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Few of us make time to nail down what we really want in our lives. From professional desires to meeting the "right" partner to buying the house of your dreams, our logical minds are quite busy hashing over ideas, but those ideas are usually not very clearly defined.  

But here's what I've noticed lately: When people take the time to get clear--really clear--about what they want in their lives and then ask themselves why they want it, different mechanisms kick in to clear up the fog and help them on their way.

An example: Mary and her colleague, Sue, were both vying for the same promotion. They were, by all accounts, equally qualified for the opportunity at the next level at their firm.

Mary took a straightforward approach to the opening. She showed up for the interview, engaged in smart conversation with decision maker, and awaited the news from on high. She knew she wanted the position, but really didn't invest any time in a conscious consideration of why she wanted the job.

Sue interviewed just as well. But prior to the interview and to some extent afterward, she spent time pondering the simple question, "Why do I want this job? "

Her answers:

"I want this job because it will mean more money."

"I want this job because it's more challenging."

"I want this job because there's something about the description that just feels like something I'd be good at."

"I want this job because I am creative and I'm not currently not using my creativity."

"I want this job because it feels like me."

Can you see how her first answer was very pragmatic? (Income-focused) But as she kept asking herself why, her answers become increasingly about a feeling she couldn't describe but felt drawn to nonetheless. She trusted that feeling and went for it.

She happened to get the promotion and reports that she's very happy in the job. But even if it hadn't worked out that way, she successfully conducted her own due diligence about what she wanted, and why she wanted it. She would still have the same clarity about her professional desires with either outcome.

If there's something on your wish list--whether it's a more-fulfilling job, a new car, a just-for-you vacation, take a few minutes to really probe your psyche about it. These are two very simple questions really, but you'd be amazed at how much internal clarity they can offer.

What do I want? (Be specific)

Why do I want it? (How will I feel when I have it? Why is that feeling important?)

Once you have answered those two questions, you'll be very clear about what's really important in your soul.

And that, my friends, is the road we all want to travel down.

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Complacency and the Art of Filmmaking 

6/15/2012

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We're big filmgoers in our family. We talk about films--comedies, action films, documentaries--quite a bit. We talk about the ones we've seen and ones we can't wait to see.

I'm also one of those people that LOVES--absolutely adores--trailers for new films. While everyone else is popcorning and chatting and settling in for the feature, I'm glued to the teaser reels. It's all about "what's coming" that piques my interest. So. Many. Creative. People.

Which is likely why a different kind of film caught my attention recently. Danielle LaPorte (www.daniellelaporte.com ) author, speaker and soul Sherpa, recently mentioned "I'm Fine, Thanks" (http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/cranktank/im-fine-thanks) -a new documentary about complacency that she not only appears in but also chose to support financially.

Some quotes from the trailer that grabbed me on first, second and third viewing. And then I was in. ALL in:

"I did all the things that were expected of me, at the expense of my dreams."

"I'm so lucky right now, and I'm freakin' miserable."

"I'm 32 and it kinda feels like I should have that (insert earnest tears of frustration)...figured out..."

Wow.

And finally...

"It's only when you start making choices for yourself that you can live your own dreams..."

Right between the eyes.

The filmmakers' goals, in their words:

"Our goal is to ignite a movement of people who are tired of settling for mediocrity. We want to eliminate 'getting by,' 'doing fine,' 'could be worse,' and 'can't complain' from the vocabulary of our modern culture."

I'm supporting their effort to get this conversation started. These topics are precisely what I speak with my clients about every day. The more people dig into these themes, the more we all benefit.

Watch the trailer when you have a moment. If you find this message resonates with you, I hope you'll also choose to help. The deadline for them to make their $100,000 goal is Friday, June 22, at 11:59 p.m. Time is of the essence. 

Again, their words:

"Together, with your help, we believe we can challenge people to dig back up their childhood dreams... to tap back into their deepest passions... and to take action to make those values more of a priority in their life moving forward."

Yes.

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Let's Go for a Drive 

5/15/2012

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Imagine getting in your car, putting the key in the ignition and starting out. Now imagine that rather than looking straight ahead, through the wide glass of the windshield, you instead glue your eyes to your rearview mirror. You slowly depress the accelerator and...

Yeah, not a good plan is it?

I want to tease this idea out a bit. It's an interesting metaphor about our daily thinking to this scenario and apply it to how you're engaging your life.

When your attention is fixated on what's behind you (your past), it's impossible to see what is ahead (the future).

As a dear friend of mine pointed out, echoing the words of her father, the rearview mirror is purposely small. The rearview is designed for a glance, not for a fixated stare. Conversely, the windshield offers a wide view of everything ahead.

I want you to consider this and think about how a habit of always staring, rather than glancing, behind, affects your daily thought patterns. Do you regularly, unmindfully, recount past scenarios that haven't turned out well? And what do you do with those recollections? Do you use them as valuable feedback or do you wield them against yourself?

Make no mistake-our past experiences do offer us something worthwhile if we categorize them as guideposts rather than irrefutable evidence of all the ways we we're not ready for success. When we use our mistakes against ourselves, we create a pattern of receiving more of the same. We fail to see what's right ahead of us, or just up the road. We become fearful, we recoil and we play small. Playing small=small results.

But when we utilize the vastness of a huge windshield, we begin to notice things. We see what's in front of us, both directly and up ahead. We automatically deepen and widen our perceptions. Wider perception=more possibilities.

The next time you get in your car, I want you to notice how much you actually see when you sit in the front seat. Notice what your peripheral vision is taking in and what's off to the side. Pick something directly in front of you and note how you can stare intently at it, but that you can also soften your vision to bring into clearer focus objects around it. It's not only an interesting exercise; it's also a relaxing skill that will bring your busy mind to the present moment.

Remember, your present experience is determined by you and your thinking. There's lots of good stuff ahead. Your task it to keep your windshield clean and your focus open so you don't miss an interesting side road with a breathtaking view.

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4/23/2012

0 Comments

 
Let's Go for a Drive

Imagine getting in your car, putting the key in the ignition and starting out. Now imagine that rather than looking straight ahead, through the wide glass of the windshield, you instead glue your eyes to your rearview mirror. You slowly depress the accelerator and...

Yeah, not a good plan is it?

I want to tease this idea out a bit. It's an interesting metaphor about our daily thinking to this scenario and apply it to how you're engaging your life.

When your attention is fixated on what's behind you (your past), it's impossible to see what is ahead (the future).

As a dear friend of mine pointed out, echoing the words of her father, the rearview mirror is purposely small. The rearview is designed for a glance, not for a fixated stare. Conversely, the windshield offers a wide view of everything ahead.

I want you to consider this and think about how a habit of always staring, rather than glancing, behind, affects your daily thought patterns. Do you regularly, unmindfully, recount past scenarios that haven't turned out well? And what do you do with those recollections? Do you use them as valuable feedback or do you wield them against yourself?

Make no mistake-our past experiences do offer us something worthwhile if we categorize them as guideposts rather than irrefutable evidence of all the ways we we're not ready for success. When we use our mistakes against ourselves, we create a pattern of receiving more of the same. We fail to see what's right ahead of us, or just up the road. We become fearful, we recoil and we play small. Playing small=small results.

But when we utilize the vastness of a huge windshield, we begin to notice things. We see what's in front of us, both directly and up ahead. We automatically deepen and widen our perceptions. Wider perception=more possibilities.

The next time you get in your car, I want you to notice how much you actually see when you sit in the front seat. Notice what your peripheral vision is taking in and what's off to the side. Pick something directly in front of you and note how you can stare intently at it, but that you can also soften your vision to bring into clearer focus objects around it. It's not only an interesting exercise; it's also a relaxing skill that will bring your busy mind to the present moment.

Remember, your present experience is determined by you and your thinking. There's lots of good stuff ahead. Your task it to keep your windshield clean and your focus open so you don't miss an interesting side road with a breathtaking view.

0 Comments

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    personal development and Equus coach, former Penn State journalism instructor and professional writer.

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